Well, it’s been a week. I originally planned to do a full one-month recap on L, but instead I want to share a little of what’s going on in mommy world (with some updates on L as well).
So L turned one month old last Sunday and every day of that month (plus the seven days that have followed) have been an absolute joy. For the first month I almost felt like it was too easy… L is so sweet and happy 90% of the time (just don’t mess with him when he is hungry!), sleeps really well, and is ultra cuddly and snuggly. His ability to make himself comfortable anywhere or really on any person and take a little schluff is one of his most loveable attributes. As for me, I was tired but it could have been much worse and full-time breastfeeding seemed to be working. Minus a few aches and pains in the beginning, I thought I was on a roll.
While L really is overall doing great, we learned at his one-month doctor’s visit that he probably wasn’t eating enough. As a result, this week we went on a strict eating schedule where I was pumping around the clock so that we could do most feedings via bottle (that way we would know for sure what he was eating) with me nursing L just twice a day. Pumping is… well, it’s not all that fun. It especially isn’t all that fun when you are doing it every two hours throughout the day and sometimes overlapping with a crying hungry baby. Add that to the times when he needs to be fed and needs diapers changed and there is almost no time left for anything else. It is definitely not enough time for me to play and cuddle with L let alone get things done around the apartment and in preparation for Thanksgiving. If I hadn’t gotten help from my mom and sister during the day plus Matt every minute that he was home from work, I would not have made it. The routine has been physically and mentally draining. Luckily I had a decent amount of breast milk stored in the freezer, but we used all of that up by Friday and I was really racing the clock trying to keep up with his feedings. I knew in my head it was okay if he had to take some formula, but it didn’t make it easy emotionally.
To take a step back, before I had L, my goal was to breastfeed if possible, but I knew that if it was too hard for some reason, I would be okay using formula instead. It isn’t as easy to remember that that once you are actually doing it, though. We had to start him on formula last night to supplement my supply and there were definitely mixed emotions. Luckily, Matt is completely supportive and really just wants what is best for L and me. In the meantime, I’m really hoping I can get my supply up enough to go back to full-time breast milk (I met with a lactation consultant last week for some help), but I realize that might not happen.
This week we will go back to the doctor and make a plan for going forward. What I do know is that my number one priority is for L to be healthy. I also know that what we did this past week is not sustainable at all.
On a more positive note about L, we started doing tummy time last Monday. The FIRST time, he rolled over within minutes. I completely flipped out and was pretty excited. I managed to get the next rollover on video so I obviously had to text it to my family immediately. Yes, I am going to be that mom who wants to show you forty five photos of my child and videos galore.
*******A note on the above, I am not making any remarks regarding how any mother chooses to feed their child. Breastfeeding is HARD work. Heck, most aspects of parenting are hard work. I truly believe you have to do what is best for you because mom and dad have to be sane and happy to be the best parents they can be. That’s what is best for the baby. Over the last few days I’ve talked to a lot of other moms who have dealt with similar challenges and it helped me feel a little better and less alone. I thought by sharing this it would help someone else who might be going through something like this as well. *******
Now for this week’s updates
Most popular recipe/blog post: Pink Champagne Cake Pops
Three favorite things I pinned all week:
Apple Cinnamon Streusel Pull-Apart Bread from Girl Versus Dough
Pumpkin Spice Swirl Brownies from Edible Perspective
Butternut Squash Cake roll with Sage Frosting from Sift and Whisk
I hope that you are all having a wonderful weekend!
I’m so sorry that the last week or so has been so hard. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job though and I’m sure L will go from strength to strength xo
You are so amazing and strong for sharing this! And I really think by raising the awareness that people do have trouble with breastfeeding will make it so much easier for other moms to admit when they do also, because I’m sure it’s WAY more common than we even know!
aw girl you’re doing amazing!! And it’s so wonderful of you to share your situation to try to raise a little awareness. Little L is such a cutie pie and I’m sure his weight will start going up super soon!
You are doing amazing! One thing that my mom told me the first night I was home from the hospital with Penelope that has stuck with me and become my mantra throughout parenthood thus far: Do what works for you. Only you know yourself and your baby best. Do the best you can, but no matter which route you choose, Liam will be happy and healthy and so will you. No one understands the challenges (emotionally or physically) of breastfeeding until you are doing it. It is one of THE hardest parts of having a newborn! Good luck and I hope that it all gets a bit easier in this department!!
You are a supermom goddess!! Love all of these ‘real’ posts. Seriously…have probably read your first trimester post 85 times. It was the only thing that kept me going when my pants basically split open at NINE weeks. Thank goodness for leggings. Okay, going to read some of your posts again now =) XOXO
OMG, Jill, I didn’t even know you were pregnant!!! Ah congrats!!! So glad the posts are helpful at all. Seriously, so excited and happy for you.